Admirable — Welcome to the end. The stunning anti-climax to all the best-laid plans of mice clutching men… and oh how they have gone astray. The playoffs have been played out and divisions dusted. There is no more room for speculation, other than on what could have been.
A couple of teams were on my radar, marked out for column inches, but were ultimately unable to meet the administrators’ criteria for Division 1 or the playoffs. Yet they still had a part to play in the unfolding dramas of the last five days.
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Briefly flirting with the moniker Autistics Anonymous, this is a new roster that had applied for Division 1 and I had assumed would be worthy of a spot in playoffs. There are two of their players in particular for whom I have held candles for some time, Ghent and wndr. At certain points in the past they have each demonstrated a genuine talent, but neither seems to have wanted or found the opportunity to run with the wolves in the Premier Division.
| Dendocror | Deathliger | Ghent | arc | wndr | indxyou |
I don’t think Season 16 will be their breakthrough either, as Dendocror outlines the team’s goals in Division 2B as “chilling” and “rolling it”. The roster assembled may well be capable of that, already contributing to the downfall of original Division 1 playoff contenders, TERRORISTS, with a convincing 7-2 7-2 victory in practise on the night that Moogle’s house of cards fell down.
As it turns out a myriad of other problems had beset Germany’s favourite son. Haunter and ReveraL both declaring their unavailability for the playoff period meant the TERRORISTS would have to contemplate fielding two mercs. Amidst all this uncertainty, offers from the land of milk and honey were to prove too alluring for the Israeli contingent; p0le, ERECTUS and ReveraL all making the exodus to Division 1’s ahvaT hA neshariM (formerly Hmtrhrhs) and spelling the end for the empire of airkicks.
Consequently the admins quickly drafted in some cannon fodder in the shape of 4-25 to continue the illusion of playoffs. These particular Russians had been very vocal in their disappointment at being placed in Division 2 and now given a chance to prove their worth they grabbed on firmly with two hands around the neck of Superstars Only, choking out CommanderX’s dreams over three suffocating maps.
Galant’s prayers were answered as Ordinator was to jump from the sinking ship of Superstars and fill the empty pocket role with HoverCrabs in Division 1. Gubbins too would say his farewells and join forces with the second of my forgotten teams…
AUTOBOTS
Guilty of padding out their roster with a few placeholder players at deadline time, things had looked uncertain for these AUTOBOTS. So I can’t really fault the powers that be for placing them in Division 2B, but the roster that WOODY has brought together is actually looking quite robust.
It started off with two scouts with Premier Division experience, the keenest streaming pocket soldier in Europe and a roamer who only ever seems to hit airshots and nothing else. Now add to that the high damage output of Gubbins and you have a team that could likely compete in Division 1.
Their most recent acquisition is an up and coming English medic by the name of Wildfire, of which I know little. As it turns out, it was another English medic who had caught my eye in these past few days. Turbomonkey of Division 1 playoff end bosses, Elemental Violence, had been demonstrating his commitment to the game by tracking down an internet café (which also doubled as a Chinese bakery and laundromat) from which to compete, due to his flaky university supplied wireless connection.
The deadline day Elemental Violence hype train which I had gladly fuelled was already looking a little rickety, the above-mentioned AUTOBOTS claiming victory over them in practice, but the trials and tribulations of their medic probably didn’t help. The wheels fully came off last night as an ascendant 4-25 decapitated the would-be kings and claimed the last Division 1 spot for themselves in defiance of ETF2L admins original Division 2 seeding.
Although elemv seem content with their place in Division 2, Turbomonkey is still mulling over the prospect of a season of lag or one-man Chinese LAN parties. When pressed on any contingency plans he did mention that Shrike410 may yet take up the healing duties with the possibility of former Crack Clan Purple soldier, ePPz, entering the fold. Wild speculation!
Elsewhere in Europe on that same fateful night, two other teams were duking it out for the last spot in the Premier Division. The Last Resort were latecomers in all this pre-season hustle and bustle, but they came out of the transfer market as big winners having secured a top class Portuguese scout-roamer duo in the form of Kiler4fun and kalhó. Their opponents on that night were a rebranded Man vs. Wild, now part of the Fenneks eSportsfamily, who had remained unchanged since our first encounter with them on these pages.
TLR’s damage dealing frontman HYS was downbeat as ever on his team’s chances on the night, but they managed to scraped through with a two map win; golden caps on both Snakewater (1-1) and Gullywash (4-4). You could tell how much both teams wanted it by the very conservative play on display, but in the end the more cohesive combo managed to edge it.
Fenneks put in a strong performance and have confirmed they have no intention of folding, fancying their chances in Division 1 and dead-set on earning promotion the old-fashioned way. Also worthy of praise, the Fenneks organisation, who are taking further steps in to the world of sponsoring teams and building an eSports brand.
Revoluzion la metagame were also to find the warm embrace of a MGO in the German-centric causeWEcan, who can now boast a Team Fortress 2 squad alongside their DotA2 and SC2 teams. Why not show all these organisations some love on Twitter?
Loose Ends
Call off the search parties, unrelease the hounds; Reverto’s Aephage has turned up alive and well after his unauthorised absence. Reports say he returned reeking of garlic, cheap wine and sodomy, but apparently that is how all French men smell.
As hoped, Impracticable Project did win the affections of Team Sweden demoman, ryb; some say his beard is soft and welcoming, yet occasionally spikey like a down pillow. The legendary figure appears to have rekindled his love for competitive Team Fortress 2, citing Broder and Insomnia 49 as positive experiences and looking forward to raining death on the new Snakewater and Metalworks.
Plenty of teams have been adding depth to their rosters. Notably, d-d-Did I Stutter? picked up all-round multi-classer, TviQ on backup. The man himself stating that he is “just helping out”. Team Infused added Phy as a backup demoman and soldier option, but also missed out on taking Gubbins as a backup scout.
Tea See Emm have been happy to report that Forksak3n (whose stupid idea this gossip article was) has fixed his internet issues. They too have taken on a backup scout, konr, to form a “core seven”. His new skipper, Byte did offer me a pearl of wisdom with regards to the ETF2L playoffs system and admin decisions, stating that “the skill of team only comes through when they are under pressure”. Take note Season 17 admins!
Shouts out to the altruistic private_meta who stumped up €250 in cold hard cash for the winners of Divisions 1, 2 and 3. Also let us not forget the unfaltering generosity of BlackOut Gaming who have pumped literally thousands in to the various ETF2L competitions over the last year.
Finally, when questioned on meaning of the new name of the Israeli team Retsh0ck was able to offer me a touching backstory:
18:54 – 18:54 – 18:54 – 18:54 – 18:54 – 18:54 – 18:54 – 18:55 – Admirable: rofl
18:55 – 18:55 – Admirable: that is the gayest thing I have ever heard
18:55 – 18:55 – 18:55 – 18:55 – Admirable: this will make my article
Originally published on VanillaTV (vanillatf2.org) on 2013-09-19 by Admirable.
Recovered from the Internet Archive (archived copy) as part of tf2esports.com's preservation of VanillaTV's TF2 coverage. The original site is no longer online. All rights remain with the original author; reposted for historical reference.